Perverse Universe





This post was a bit difficult to write as it is a bit personal :|

I've heard a lot of grisly stories of children being molested in the Maldives and I realize now that I have been very lucky myself as a child. I have never been molested to the extent that most people here would consider as 'real abuse', but I have these memories of a person, we'll call him the 'old fart' treating me very unappropriately when I was a little girl...

This dude was an old family friend who visited us often. He was a very jolly and likeable character so everyone in my family liked him a lot including me. I saw him as an uncle or a grandfather figure who made me laugh a lot. I was about 8 or 9 then and I don't remember much but what I remember very vividly is that whenever he came over, he would come and hold me againt his groin and rub himself on me in an "affectionate way". I was pretty small back then and he was a tall guy so my head just reached only his waist. At the time I had no idea what his real motives were but I remember feeling uncomfortable and twisting out of his grasp as fast as I could. It didn't strike me that what he had done was very very wrong until I was a bit older.

After I was about 13 or 14, he came over one day, I was a bit wary of him by then but was polite to him all the same or else my parents would ask me why I was being rude to him. He called me over to the kitchen saying, "Come over here. I want to show you something." I came near him slowly, ready to sprint at any sign of his hands coming at me and he showed me a picture. It was a picture of a huge hairy penis and he was like "Look at it closer". I turned a shade of green and ran to my room and didn't come out till he went away.

After that, I didn't bother whether my parents thought I was being rude to him or not, I actually hissed and snarled at him whenever he talked to me. I tried telling my parents about it but I guess they thought I was being silly and it was just a childs imagination or 'the old fart' was just fooling around and I misunderstood his intentions. But in what kind of perverse universe is it acceptable for a 50 year old man to show naked pictures of male genitals to a 13/14 year old girl??

Since he was so likeable and was kind of part of the family I knew that no one would want to believe he was a pedophile. So I really kept most of it to myself since there wasn't much harm done, but I ache at the thought of how many other little girls he might have targeted...girls who might not have been as lucky as I am. People need to be more aware of whats happening around then and not be in denial all the time. I felt a sense of betrayal that the people who I loved the most did not take me seriously enough. People should be more willing to listen to their children and be more careful of what they are exposed to.

Comments

Hilath said…
According to UNICEF, most child abuse cases go on because parents don't believe a child's words against an adult's. Patriarchy :(
You poor poor girl!. I'm so sorry to hear that... indeed you're lucky not to have suffered any physical abuse - mental abuse is just as bad, though.

This makes me very angry.

Next time you see that piece of shit, stick a stungun into his balls and pull the trigger. That's three shots, each packing 20,000 volts of power.

Don't have a stun gun?. Here, I'll get you one. I do not need your money.

-

I know - that's how haabees actually promote child abuse here. Their defense is always "The person provides for his family! If the person is punished, who will take care of their family?" - and they've used this to great effect. Most child abusers usually are found in traditionally trusted locations - such as family friends, Quran teachers and such.
Shanu said…
as they say its a process of seduction.. it starts way early.. like him presenting himself in a friendly and likable manner is all part of it.. and it never ends really.. however much we think we'r over it , it comes back and haunts us now and then..

I applaud you girl for having the courage to share it and to snub him too :)

Hugs
Anonymous said…
Thank you for sharing this. You're a very brave and a very smart girl. Lucky too. As a human being, I do understand somewhat what you had to go through, but as a guy and someone who's never been abused, it's hard for me to really grasp the enormity of what an abused girl would go through. But these stories I hear always help to raise my consciousness.

Btw does anyone know where I can find some statistics on Maldivian child abuse? All I see are stories covered in the media and brave souls like these who dare to make their cases public. Numbers are always empowering and have a huge impact.
mohamed said…
ive only recently found out some of my cousins(who i consider as my sisters) was molested,
the guy lived with them for about 10 years before they told their parents about it
i was so pissed off when i found out about this
i should have seen the signs
once her back n her legs was scratched n she joked about it saying it was there when she woke up & it must have been a ghost i was a kid back then i didnt think too much about it but the parents should have known better

the problem with this society is everyone loves to live in denial
& that creates a nice heaven for all sort of exploitations
Myst said…
Like you said, you're one of the lucky ones. One can only imagine how many other children he must have seduced and molested with the same tricks.

The worst part is that in most instances children who try to tell their parents about such abuse end up being ignored or being laughed off has having too wild an imagination.
Anonymous said…
If someone is too nice, too likable, there is something wrong. Nobody is that nice. That is someone who wants make other believe that he is no threat so they put down their guard. Parents and guardians need be aware of such sickos. I have a daughter, and I do not allow anyone, especially male' 'old fart' like person to give hugs or take her too close. This might sound rude to some people but I have warned my wife about this too. You can never be too careful. Thanks for sharing your story.
Shanu said…
Anonymous you should approach unicef, or CCHDC global fund.. i think they would be able to get you those number.

This something quite not in context here but I think theres a link.. a study has been conducted on the issues of sexual promiscuity, sex trade, prostitution etc, i think abuse would have accounted for a lot of these cases..
bluebooze said…
Hilath: :(

Shadowrunner: damn if only I had that stun gun then, boy would I have shown him. You're right about the Islam/Quran teachers too.Thanks :)

Shanu: You're right, he brought me candy every time he visited. Bet that's what he uses for bait. Something tells me you've been through something similar too.

Thanks:) Hugs

Anon: Thanks for the kind words..:) but I really think that what i went through is relatively nothing compared to what most victims go through.

mohamed: I'm very sorry to hear about your cousins :| i hope the bastard trips and falls on an iron prong that would pierce his innards out.

Myst: yeah there is something very wrong still with this society.

Anon: you are right.. you can never be too careful.

People thanks for your supportive comments. I feel loads lighter now. :)
@Shanoo: :O You're alive!!??!!!
jaa said…
Very sorry to hear that! Thank goodness it progressed no further. Wish you the best of a future...
Yaamyn said…
I've had a similar experience of an old fart trying to do something I could not understand. (Hey, could be the same guy!)

In my case, it was this really old dude who was partially blind in one eye.

I was a kid, and this guy had come over to my house.

He'd call me to his room, bring me close and make some obscene gesture with his finger..

I DID hear vaguely about child molestation at that time.

But I didn't quite understand what it meant, of course. I felt uncomfortable and made a quick exit.

My elder sis, bless her, also avoided the old fart after a similar experience.

To this day, she has been the only one I remember telling this to!

Makes you wonder, doesn't it!
bluebooze said…
jaa: thanks :) appreciate it

Yaamyn: haha this old fart had 20-20 vision. so i guess there are a lot of these kinds of old farts around.

thanks for sharing
Marina said…
Similar things going on in Villingili at the moment - old man trying to talk to a young (10yrs.?) old girl, went to the beach with her. Our friends are watching and video taping every moment. Informed the mother who finally confronted the old guy. Haven't seen him after that...
bluebooze said…
its happening everywhere eh? its pretty cool what you guys did.
Anonymous said…
20-20 vision, huh?. That makes me want to rip out that guy's eyeballs... and use it as a rear-view mirror accessory.
Stupid Tab Button!. That was me, btw.
bluebooze said…
shadowrunner: great idea! then he cant go around looking at other kids..well unless they are standing behind your car. :p
:O

But the optic nerve is disconnected!.
Mr. Karma said…
I applaud your courage to share this..

Hopefully it will also help other young girls by becoming aware of unhealthy boundaries, sometimes it can confuse someone naive when family welcomes such people into their homes..even parents need to be aware of this.

Thanking for posting this.
canofworms said…
In our community we usually fail to establish trust and a link of honest communication between parent and child.

Maintaining the outward harmony without having to face taboos and skeletons in the closet seems to be the prime objective of these parents, at the expense of the welfare of their child, which they are completely oblivious to as the child does not communicate with his/her parent, nor the parent with the child.
bluebooze said…
Mr. Karma: yes i am hoping something good comes out of this post. :)

thanks

canofworms: yes parents need to make sure the child feels comfortable enough to open up to them. they have to instill communication and trust from an early age.
kaidha said…
its really brave of you to talk about it here...most ppl cant or are ashamed to talk about it
=)
bluebooze said…
kaidha: thanks :) the way i see it, i got nothing to be ashamed of. its him who should be.. but people like that have no shame.
kaiza shozey said…
i still dont understand it. i mean ive heard the same story from so many girls and in almost all of them the parents end up not giving a damn abt it or taking it too lightly. thats jes bizarre....especially since whenever i have a chat with a grown up guy even if its a friend or an uncle, in-law etc they would be saying out loud how much they protect their children and how much they try not to let that opportunity to arise and yet again i hear how much parents neglect what the child is saying. isnt it obvious that when a child who can have no knowledge of such things suddenly comes and tells her parents abt it that there is definitely sumthing wrong? isnt it ATLEAST worth looking into or being cautious over? :s
bluebooze said…
kaiza; i know..:| i dont get it either.

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