Screw Tradition

It always seems that when I'm writing a post, I always rant about something but hey it's only when I'm upset that I can come up with enough material to write something.

I recently told someone that I don't want to get married anytime soon. Her response was, "Thihen hutta muskulhi vedhaane, eyrun nuvaane innane meehakuves"

Why? why? why does society have to decide for me when I have to get married? I don't consider myself as an old hag yet but EVEN if I was. What is it about unmarried women that gets those domestic goddesses in a rut?

Yes I am aware that I have a biological clock and everything but PLEASE let me decide the fate of my womb! And even if I didn't go the traditional way, it does not mean that I am any lesser of a person or that I am unhappy and you need to pity me.

As every girl would, I used to dream about a wedding and a pretty dress and such things. But I'm just saying don't judge me for not wanting to get married at an early age and have 2 kids right after, just to fit in with everyone else. I don't want to get myself into something I am not ready for, just so that people would stop pointing fingers at me.

Funny thing is, I'm not even that old to be considered as an old maid yet (At least in international standards). Usually the girls these days tie the knot as soon as they hit eighteen. People! we already have the world record for the highest divorce rates! Why would you want to add to it?

Or maybe it's a source of pride for them? O.o

Some girls just get married because they are 'in love' and sometimes I think just for the kick of having a huge party with a dress that costs RF 10'000. They don't envision the part that comes after. Honestly I am terrified of marriage, specially after recent personal events that have happened.

So tell me, does it really make me an incomplete person if I don't have a piece of paper with some legal formalities that links me to another person?


Anonymous said…
Happinness to them comes only in the form of a spouse, and that is what's truly sad. They should save their pity for themselves instead of wasting it on you.
shan said…
"you're born, your parents take care of you, you go to school, you study some more, then you get a job and somewhere down the line, you find someone and marry that person. then you get a kid! and the cycle continues" - that right there, is the fuel that runs most of the minds in our little society! they are either unwilling, scared or simply incapable of understanding anything out side the inverted commas.

it has reached the point where arguing about it is pointless. so i believe it is time for us to become bigger people than them and give them a little message!

"we're up for suggestions..but not taking any!" :)
AzMyst said…
It doesn't make you incomplete, it just proves you're smart. Fools rush in, eh? :D
Anonymous said…
It's ridiculous that some "kasauti" people still think that we only get happiness through another person. They think we need another person to "make us whole". Let me remind them that we were born as individual human beings and if they are bored with their selves they either (a) end their lives, or (b) find some interesting thing to do with their lives because the whole world is a place left to be explored and our lifetime is too short.
bluebooze said…
canofworms: yeah apparently if i dont get married that makes me either a lesbian or an asexual being.

shan: it has come to the point where you are actually harassed for "thinking like the westerners."

Azmyst: wiiiise meeen sayyyy only fools ...ahem

Anon: and dont get me started on the 'soulmates' thing.
Its a trap! They're doping it for moneys!
Anonymous said…
Marriage is highly over-rated. And the last thing this world needs is another human who'd help destroy it.

Dhunyakah dhaa numehadhaa
Manje men kanulaa ahaa
Dhonbe men dhey mee lafaa
Enmenah faidhaa kuraa

Saadhaa furihama thaa nuvaa
Haadha boduvee kamuhithaa
Haadhahaa vaa lhafathugaa
Aadhe kaiveni thaa kuraa

Lhafathuga kaiveni nukoh
Ufalugaa thibe boduvamaa
Ufedhemundhaa hashi midhaa
Ufedhi furihama viya dhemaa
Yaamyn said…
Remain smart. Don't get married until you know you're ready.

I personally think half the 'marriages' I've seen take place between 18 years olds is only in their rush to get laid in socially acceptable circumstances.

We must do something about privacy in our country.

Marriage is forbidden territory for me too. Can't picture it happening!
bluebooze said…
shadow: :P

Anon: Thanks for the lhen, Pretty damn good advice.

Yaamyn: I knowww, it's not like the people who are denying us the freedom aren't doing it also behind closed doors.
Shanu said…
Hardly bluebooze, I am in my late twenties and single..( no never even been close to getting married!!) so I should know what i am talking about.. especially since i must have been written off a lot of peoples list as a woman with an expired womb or perhaps even a lesbian ..:)

The way i see it marriage is sacred, and I wouldnt commit just for the sake of it, or for second best.. I dont see why i cant wait for what I has to be out there..

But the hitch is if u are going to stick to your guns, theres going to be a lot of pointing and bashing..and u have to just take it all with a grain of salt.. we should learn not to get our panties into a knot everytime people say stuff..there will be a lot of belittling for sure..

So just say to hell with are entitled to do whatever u like.. and i think ur very young to be worried about marriage just yet...theres a lot beyond our oysters.. enjoy your life woman :)
bluebooze said…
shanu: thank you for the inspirational words. :) world here i come! lol :)
.mini said…
just marry when you are ready, don't let others get into your mind gurl!
the people these days are so stupid, they just give their life away
we have to live it for ourselves before sharing it with some dude!
kaiza shozey said…
hehehe. loved the post. i think ive written some similar ones. and im sure ud love the last one i wrote a week or so back, adhi post nukurevigen miulheny. mirey kuranvee thoachcheh. once again loved the post. and so very true.
bluebooze said…
thanks ^^ read ur last two posts. rings so true.
Anonymous said…
so true.. I see 18 year olds getting married, and divorced by the time they are 19! Freaky..
And the society still thinks you are not "educated" unless you become a teacher or a nurse! It might take years for them to stop pointing their finger at smart girls who wants to think before getting married at teenage!! Im with you.. x]
bluebooze said…
shaha: you go girl :D
DreamGirL said…
I know what you mean, girl. My folks are at it too. Find a nice boy and get married. The frowns. The disapproving looks. The furtive Sighs.

It’s not that I don't want to get married, mind you. Its how little people these days understand the sacredness of marriage is and what it means to them.

This is raaje we are talking about. There are no moral men or women. I am willing to wait as long i need to, to find someone that I can even consider committing to someday. At some point. On my deathbed or at a burger joint. How can I rush in without knowing for sure that this isn't some guy who will stand by me for 5 years while straying left, right and center behind my back and then to ditch me for another woman four years into the marriage? You know what I'm talking about. We've seen this happen too many times. What have we learnt, children?

I mean, really. How good a judge of character can you be at 17? You’re living off your parents without a clue of what the real world is, no responsibilities, no inkling of how fucked up this sex-crazed raaje is. And you can’t know a person; really really know a person, because we're all constantly adapting. You can try and keep a wonderful little narrative going on in your head about who a person is and what his beliefs are, but it gets fragmented and you lose control because it's only a thread in your head.

So yeah. I don't trust men so perhaps I’m trying to justify my instinctive mistrust with words. And arguments. But that's what we all do. But, ah, to marry a guy at 18 and be in love with the same person forever! It could happen! I’m not cynical. I want to believe in it so badly! Maybe it's worth living for.

So, until then. Why don't we get a kitten instead?

PS. am sorry about the life changing event again. hugs. stay strong, sista.
bluebooze said…
Dreamgirl: woman why cant you write like this in your blog? i almost posted ur comment as an article by dream girl :P

and thanks.. taking one day at a time.time heals all wounds etc etc. (still easier said than done)
fali said…
People will always have something to say about your life. If its not your marriage (or lack of) then its your weight, your looks, your job, the way you wash your dishes, your kids (or lack of), your cat (shudder!! god forbid keeping one of those dirty scary disease ridden creatures in the house), your tie (or lack of), your views on religion, your long fingernails, your use of language, your mobile phone, your gondi setu, the intensity of your period pains, your houseplants, the length of your top, your hairstyle, how much water you drink in a day, how much eggs are left in your ovaries......... well, i can go on. and you cant even tell them to put a sock in it because they are probably relatives or family friends or colleagues. sighhh.

oh well just thank the higher being for simple pleasures in life that make it tolerable.. like raspberry smoothies...
bluebooze said…
fali: bwahahhahahaha gondi setu, thanks for the laughs

p.s: you should blog, i'd read it for sure. ^^
paperclippenny said…
well said woman! You've taken the words right outta my mouth.

Honestly why are we all expected to fit into the 'norm' of the society?
bluebooze said…
penny: yeah what is 'normal' anyway.

anon: heehee sorry. ill try to do sumthing about that.
O.O said…
You shouldn't get married until you're ready, and until you find the guy you know you can depend on, [like, to be there and shit, not to rip off] and you know you can trust and shit.
But hey, that could happen at any age.
18 or 28. Doesn't matter.
It's all about being ready.
You shouldn't get married under pressure of your parents, significant other, or your, uhm, friends?
You should only marry when BOTH of you are ready.

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