I think I'm dumb...or maybe just happy.

I'm baaack, well technically I didn't go anywhere. I was just away from a lot of material things for awhile and pondering the meaning of life while being all spiritual and zen. Ok who am I kidding...the PC broke down, my phone got disconnected and I was just being a recluse all these days. But I DID ponder about a lot of stuff and well, here are my random thoughts for today. (Warning might not make much sense.)

First of all, whoever invented diet coke should be arrested. I tasted it for the first time coz there was nothing else at home and I almost choked on it's watery taste. Oh I know what you're thinking, "What? That's your big epiphany?" Well it's not. I just thought I'd mention it.

I just got to thinking...and here's my 'advice' to everyone. Life is short, and you only get ONE of them. Live it your way. Have fun. Make memories. Meet people. Travel. Take pictures. Try new stuff. You know how they say a well-spent day results in heavenly sleep? Well the same way, a well-spent life would guarantee a death without any regrets. One of the worst feelings to live with is having to think, "I wonder what might have happened if i did that..or if I didn't do this"

Don't live your life for another person, believe me I know. When your life revolves around another person, you lose who you are. Let nothing hold you back from living your life to your instincts. Of course people will talk and try to put you down but WHO CARES? It's your life and if you can't do what you want now, then when can you? Too often do we refrain from being ourselves as we are, just so that everybody else is pleased. You can't please everyone, and the most important thing is pleasing yourself. No one else will you know...

I'm in the process of finding myself again and I feel so much better, stronger to know that I'm in control of my life and where it's headed. I feel like I can be my random self and do silly stuff like dancing in the rain with friends, have pillow fights and travel to places without worrying too much about what others might think of me. In the end I'm happy. We are so busy TRYING to be happy that we don't even know what it means. Sometimes all you can do is just think positive and decide to be happy. It works...and it rubs off on others too.

Most of us are so self-conscious that we join in with mocking the people who do actually pursue their dreams. We mock them out of resentment coz we know they are happy and they have a great life contrary to what pathetic people say. So what if some people laugh at us? It's okay to laugh at yourself. People will eventually love you for it. Oh and its better to be hated than ignored.

I guess you could say these past years I was so rapunzeled (isolated from society) up in the tower that, I kind of became institutionalized to that way of living. But not so much that I feel I can't get back to the real world again. (Reference to old Brooks in my favorite movie The Shawshank Redemption) It's gonna be a slow process but for the first time, I do feel that I can at last be free to be me.

Actually I'm pretty sure I haven't made an ounce of sense above and maybe some people who have been talking to me might get where all this is coming from. I'm half sleep deprived right now thanks to 'someone' hmph :P I blame my nonsensical blurtations on that fact. Also CURSE THAT WOMAN WHO BOUGHT THE SHOES THAT IVE BEEN EYING AND DROOLING OVER AND SAVED MONEY FOR!!! ahem...yes I think I should stop now.

Whoever who read this to the end...I thank you.