Screw Tradition





It always seems that when I'm writing a post, I always rant about something but hey it's only when I'm upset that I can come up with enough material to write something.

I recently told someone that I don't want to get married anytime soon. Her response was, "Thihen hutta muskulhi vedhaane, eyrun nuvaane innane meehakuves"

Why? why? why does society have to decide for me when I have to get married? I don't consider myself as an old hag yet but EVEN if I was. What is it about unmarried women that gets those domestic goddesses in a rut?

Yes I am aware that I have a biological clock and everything but PLEASE let me decide the fate of my womb! And even if I didn't go the traditional way, it does not mean that I am any lesser of a person or that I am unhappy and you need to pity me.

As every girl would, I used to dream about a wedding and a pretty dress and such things. But I'm just saying don't judge me for not wanting to get married at an early age and have 2 kids right after, just to fit in with everyone else. I don't want to get myself into something I am not ready for, just so that people would stop pointing fingers at me.

Funny thing is, I'm not even that old to be considered as an old maid yet (At least in international standards). Usually the girls these days tie the knot as soon as they hit eighteen. People! we already have the world record for the highest divorce rates! Why would you want to add to it?

Or maybe it's a source of pride for them? O.o

Some girls just get married because they are 'in love' and sometimes I think just for the kick of having a huge party with a dress that costs RF 10'000. They don't envision the part that comes after. Honestly I am terrified of marriage, specially after recent personal events that have happened.

So tell me, does it really make me an incomplete person if I don't have a piece of paper with some legal formalities that links me to another person?

Comments

Anonymous said…
Happinness to them comes only in the form of a spouse, and that is what's truly sad. They should save their pity for themselves instead of wasting it on you.
September 19, 2009 at 7:43 PM
shan said…
"you're born, your parents take care of you, you go to school, you study some more, then you get a job and somewhere down the line, you find someone and marry that person. then you get a kid! and the cycle continues" - that right there, is the fuel that runs most of the minds in our little society! they are either unwilling, scared or simply incapable of understanding anything out side the inverted commas.

it has reached the point where arguing about it is pointless. so i believe it is time for us to become bigger people than them and give them a little message!

"we're up for suggestions..but not taking any!" :)
September 19, 2009 at 9:26 PM
AzMyst said…
It doesn't make you incomplete, it just proves you're smart. Fools rush in, eh? :D
September 19, 2009 at 9:58 PM
Anonymous said…
It's ridiculous that some "kasauti" people still think that we only get happiness through another person. They think we need another person to "make us whole". Let me remind them that we were born as individual human beings and if they are bored with their selves they either (a) end their lives, or (b) find some interesting thing to do with their lives because the whole world is a place left to be explored and our lifetime is too short.
September 19, 2009 at 10:00 PM
Nora said…
canofworms: yeah apparently if i dont get married that makes me either a lesbian or an asexual being.

shan: it has come to the point where you are actually harassed for "thinking like the westerners."

Azmyst: wiiiise meeen sayyyy only fools ...ahem

Anon: and dont get me started on the 'soulmates' thing.
September 20, 2009 at 12:38 AM
The Shadowrunner said…
Its a trap! They're doping it for moneys!
September 20, 2009 at 1:22 AM
Anonymous said…
Marriage is highly over-rated. And the last thing this world needs is another human who'd help destroy it.

Dhunyakah dhaa numehadhaa
Manje men kanulaa ahaa
Dhonbe men dhey mee lafaa
Enmenah faidhaa kuraa

Saadhaa furihama thaa nuvaa
Haadha boduvee kamuhithaa
Haadhahaa vaa lhafathugaa
Aadhe kaiveni thaa kuraa

Lhafathuga kaiveni nukoh
Ufalugaa thibe boduvamaa
Ufedhemundhaa hashi midhaa
Ufedhi furihama viya dhemaa
September 20, 2009 at 3:17 AM
Yaamyn said…
Remain smart. Don't get married until you know you're ready.


I personally think half the 'marriages' I've seen take place between 18 years olds is only in their rush to get laid in socially acceptable circumstances.

We must do something about privacy in our country.

Marriage is forbidden territory for me too. Can't picture it happening!
September 20, 2009 at 8:42 AM
Nora said…
shadow: :P

Anon: Thanks for the lhen, Pretty damn good advice.

Yaamyn: I knowww, it's not like the people who are denying us the freedom aren't doing it also behind closed doors.
September 20, 2009 at 3:53 PM
Unknown said…
Hardly bluebooze, I am in my late twenties and single..( no never even been close to getting married!!) so I should know what i am talking about.. especially since i must have been written off a lot of peoples list as a woman with an expired womb or perhaps even a lesbian ..:)

The way i see it marriage is sacred, and I wouldnt commit just for the sake of it, or for second best.. I dont see why i cant wait for what I want..it has to be out there..

But the hitch is if u are going to stick to your guns, theres going to be a lot of pointing and bashing..and u have to just take it all with a grain of salt.. we should learn not to get our panties into a knot everytime people say stuff..there will be a lot of belittling for sure..

So just say to hell with them..you are entitled to do whatever u like.. and i think ur very young to be worried about marriage just yet...theres a lot beyond our oysters.. enjoy your life woman :)
September 20, 2009 at 6:15 PM
Nora said…
shanu: thank you for the inspirational words. :) world here i come! lol :)
September 20, 2009 at 6:33 PM
.mini said…
just marry when you are ready, don't let others get into your mind gurl!
the people these days are so stupid, they just give their life away
we have to live it for ourselves before sharing it with some dude!
September 21, 2009 at 2:54 PM
Nora said…
mini: well said ^^
September 21, 2009 at 2:55 PM
kaiza shozey said…
hehehe. loved the post. i think ive written some similar ones. and im sure ud love the last one i wrote a week or so back, adhi post nukurevigen miulheny. mirey kuranvee thoachcheh. once again loved the post. and so very true.
September 21, 2009 at 7:20 PM
Nora said…
thanks ^^ read ur last two posts. rings so true.
September 21, 2009 at 9:38 PM
Anonymous said…
so true.. I see 18 year olds getting married, and divorced by the time they are 19! Freaky..
And the society still thinks you are not "educated" unless you become a teacher or a nurse! It might take years for them to stop pointing their finger at smart girls who wants to think before getting married at teenage!! Im with you.. x]
September 22, 2009 at 6:17 AM
Nora said…
shaha: you go girl :D
September 22, 2009 at 1:30 PM
DreamGirL said…
I know what you mean, girl. My folks are at it too. Find a nice boy and get married. The frowns. The disapproving looks. The furtive Sighs.

It’s not that I don't want to get married, mind you. Its how little people these days understand the sacredness of marriage is and what it means to them.

This is raaje we are talking about. There are no moral men or women. I am willing to wait as long i need to, to find someone that I can even consider committing to someday. At some point. On my deathbed or at a burger joint. How can I rush in without knowing for sure that this isn't some guy who will stand by me for 5 years while straying left, right and center behind my back and then to ditch me for another woman four years into the marriage? You know what I'm talking about. We've seen this happen too many times. What have we learnt, children?

I mean, really. How good a judge of character can you be at 17? You’re living off your parents without a clue of what the real world is, no responsibilities, no inkling of how fucked up this sex-crazed raaje is. And you can’t know a person; really really know a person, because we're all constantly adapting. You can try and keep a wonderful little narrative going on in your head about who a person is and what his beliefs are, but it gets fragmented and you lose control because it's only a thread in your head.

So yeah. I don't trust men so perhaps I’m trying to justify my instinctive mistrust with words. And arguments. But that's what we all do. But, ah, to marry a guy at 18 and be in love with the same person forever! It could happen! I’m not cynical. I want to believe in it so badly! Maybe it's worth living for.

So, until then. Why don't we get a kitten instead?

PS. am sorry about the life changing event again. hugs. stay strong, sista.
September 23, 2009 at 2:58 AM
Nora said…
Dreamgirl: woman why cant you write like this in your blog? i almost posted ur comment as an article by dream girl :P

and thanks.. taking one day at a time.time heals all wounds etc etc. (still easier said than done)
September 23, 2009 at 12:45 PM
fali said…
People will always have something to say about your life. If its not your marriage (or lack of) then its your weight, your looks, your job, the way you wash your dishes, your kids (or lack of), your cat (shudder!! god forbid keeping one of those dirty scary disease ridden creatures in the house), your tie (or lack of), your views on religion, your long fingernails, your use of language, your mobile phone, your gondi setu, the intensity of your period pains, your houseplants, the length of your top, your hairstyle, how much water you drink in a day, how much eggs are left in your ovaries......... well, i can go on. and you cant even tell them to put a sock in it because they are probably relatives or family friends or colleagues. sighhh.

oh well just thank the higher being for simple pleasures in life that make it tolerable.. like raspberry smoothies...
September 23, 2009 at 4:07 PM
Nora said…
fali: bwahahhahahaha gondi setu, thanks for the laughs

p.s: you should blog, i'd read it for sure. ^^
September 23, 2009 at 4:10 PM
paperclippenny said…
well said woman! You've taken the words right outta my mouth.

Honestly why are we all expected to fit into the 'norm' of the society?
September 29, 2009 at 12:01 PM
Nora said…
penny: yeah what is 'normal' anyway.

anon: heehee sorry. ill try to do sumthing about that.
October 2, 2009 at 10:18 PM
O.O said…
You shouldn't get married until you're ready, and until you find the guy you know you can depend on, [like, to be there and shit, not to rip off] and you know you can trust and shit.
But hey, that could happen at any age.
18 or 28. Doesn't matter.
It's all about being ready.
You shouldn't get married under pressure of your parents, significant other, or your, uhm, friends?
You should only marry when BOTH of you are ready.
June 28, 2011 at 5:12 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The wall is still GREEN!

I am so fed up with people telling me what I should think like, believe in, act like and value. I mean does it not occur to these people that believing something is not a choice that I make (although in their case it seems to be) . These people act like I just should believe simply because I have to. My brain does not work that way I tell you! First it has to make sense to me in a logical reasonable way so that I can wrap my mind around it. I cannot simply say "I believe" and voila become a believer. I mean you can make me say the words but in my mind I would still believe in only what makes sense to me. So what is the point? For eg: Someone can show me a green wall and ask me to believe it is red , but my mind would just see it for what it actually is. A bloody GREEN wall! Just because I say I believe it is red does not mean I can actually believe it. In the same way, no matter how hard people intentionally or unintentionally try to shove down their doctr...
Read more

Dear Mr. Crocodile... (I assume you are a Mister...thousand apologies if not)

I heard you were a baby when you were found by some people at our shores. You must have been lost, very scared and confused. You must have been hungry and exhausted from swimming for so long. I bet you were wishing that your mama was there, so she could have protected you from these strange people. I found out that they put you in a cage at the childrens park so that people could come and gaze at wonder at you. You were pretty small then, so you did not take up much space. You must have been pretty lonely since there was not anyone like you around near you. I was told that they fed you well though...and then you started getting bigger..and bigger... and bigger. The little man-made pond is not big enough for you anymore. It made me very sad Mr. Crocodile, to see that you could not even straighten yourself to your full length in that sorry excuse of a home made for you. I guess your back must ache a lot huh? Being curled up all the time. But I guess that is not the point,...
Read more